bitch, PLEASE.

I've had mild acne for about 13 years. It began with puberty, and persisted throughout high school, even with regular visits to the dermatologist. I was always told, "Wait it out. It will most likely go away in your adult years. " Meanwhile, they milked my parents' insurance for all it was worth, putting me simultaneously on pills, creams, and even that awful AccuTane during the summer after high school graduation. That was the last straw for me. I fully believe that it was the cause of my first remarkable bout with depression and suicidal ideation, and I luckily had enough sense to stop it after that happened.

Since, I've been on my own, depending on face wash and face scrub, being careful about not sleeping with make-up on, about washing my pillowcases every week, even resorting to strange home remedies involving toothpaste. I had run the gamut of brands to try, of "guaranteed" methods that they sell on TV past 2am. No more. I gave up, stopped wearing make-up all the time, and attempted to come to terms with my acne.

Over the past year, it's been difficult, but I've managed. My skin has become very sensitive and slow to heal from the blemishes, but it seemed as if perhaps it was finally clearing up. My problem area was always along my jawline and below my chin on my neck. Maybe it was just moving down my body, and eventually would slip right off the end of my toes sometime hopefully in my early 30's.

I was thinking about it today. Whenever I had more than two days off of work, my face would be on the up-and-up. I had always assumed that it was because work was a stressor, and we were always told that stress causes break-outs. However, over the last few weeks, I've developed some areas around the base of my neck that were not the typical zit. Red, painful bumps speckled either side of my neck. I realized that the only thing that comes in contact with my neck is my stethoscope. Yesterday, looking at the cheap shiny thing that I received "complimentary" from my work, I held the black plastic in my hands, and then I realized that I couldn't be sure if it was even plastic at all. To be safe, I've stopped hanging it around my neck, though it's a hard habit to get out of because slipping it over my head has become so automatic.

I was measuring a patient's blood pressure just an hour ago, and I realized it. As the metal bars stuck out of my ears and clung to my cheeks, bent down below my chin, and as they then connected to the tubing, I felt it. I had a little acne noose hanging from my head. All this time, that stethoscope has been causing my skin to break out. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I see it on my face, the trace of when the stethoscope comes in contact with my skin. It's even caused my earlobes to break out.

So, like, mystery solved, people.